-CELLOX; the Passion.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

I know I should be like doing PI or mugging for tomorrow's Econs test (which I havent started
on at all), I felt this was really necessary to post about in order to move on with life.

Yea, RJCO got Gold.
As much as a lot of people think we did very well for getting Gold, but guess what:
out of 17 schools, there were 5 Gold with Honors given out. Usually it is 2 - 3. And RJCO wasn't
one of them.

It was when most of us CO peeps were in the CO room listening intently to 4 - 5 handphones, which were connected to the other CO peeps's handphones at the SCH who let us listen on the announcement of the results. When I heard we got Gold, I was really devastated.

I mean, why did we get Gold? I mean, yea I know the major screwup was when cello section came in late by a bar due to confusion in conducting, but I would say we recovered miraculously on time, seamlessly. It's just that its a SET piece, so everybody knows that we were late by one bar.

To quote Victor, 我真的很不甘心. The amount of effort we put in is really tremoundous, slogging away 2 - 3 weeks of our time daily til 8 - 9 pm, and we are currently far behind on schoolwork. I can't speak for everyone, but for those whom I know of, I speak for them: we really do not deserve just a Gold.

I tried to recall what Yiusum said, that the process is much more important than the result. I tried to console myself using that thought, but it didn't work. I couldn't control my tears. I really felt the pain that some of us went through when we heard the results.

However, after some self-reflection, it occured to me I was being very narrow-sighted. It was as if that this award, Gold with Honors, is everything to me, everything to us, RJCO. My whole view of things was being obscured by this title of 'Gold with Honors', and I could not see things clearly. Yes, true it is that we all have worked our asses off for Gold with Honors and yet we didn't get it, and yes true we could have gotten it if not for the misconducting, and true it is that it is vital to us, especially since it is our last SYF, but really ask ourselves: What ELSE have you taken away from this experience?

I realised that without the SYF training sessions, I really wouldn't have been that bonded with my section and my other CO batchmates, ESPECIALLY my section. I still remember the first part of the year when I first introduced to the section, I was relatively quiet and polite with the other members, but now I am part of the suanning fun and nuttiness of Cello/Bass, and this was a motivating factor for me. As much as I didn't like school, I constantly look forward to RJCO practices not only because of the music that I love, but also to laugh with my section, and to know all their kinks and weirdness in their characters is just so fun and interesting.

And Dazu sections as well! As much as they are sian at times, but I will never miss the times where Matthew and Dawn randomly bursting into weird actions, or ping-pong balls being thrown out of nowhere, or Jimmy being teased about him and his girlfriends, or Lao Zhou's hilarious conversations on his handphone that interrupt practice.

And all these are memories of our training sessions for SYF. The bulk of memories we have with our J2 seniors before they leave soon to mug for As. What could be more invaluable than that?

This is an important life lesson for me, and I truly understood what Yiu Sum said, that "the process is more important than the result". The award does not represent the process, but rather what is important is what one priortizes and chooses to achieve from the process. Our performance may not be of GwH standard, but we have done our best for our trainings. I hope that by sharing this with you CO readers, you would also stop and reflect, and appreciate the moments you had. With that, move on, and give yourself a pat on your back for working so hard together, as RJCO.

RJCO, Thank you. What I earned is really worth much more than Gold with Honors.

So screw it.

Sincerely,
Kenneth Siah
Cello/Bass

-Cellox 4:46 AM